Minding the Curve

As a heritage learner, I've been told that I'm "lucky" because I already "know the language" and supposedly didn't have to struggle learning Japanese. True, talking to my parents in Japanese everyday and watching Japanese TV shows helps. But these days, I'm feeling increasingly frustrated. Why?


I THINK I'M HITTING THE BOTTOM OF THE CURVE.

When I first saw this curve, I dismissed it. I though that because I've been to Japan already on vacation and interact with my Japanese community, the curve didn't apply to me.

Oh was I so wrong.

The first week was full of excitement. New classmates, a new university, a different city, and a new lifestyle. All I needed to do was focus on my Japanese homework, interact with people, and visit the many attractions Kyoto has to offer. Everyday I'd go to the market and fight with the ladies for the best deals. I was finally in Japan!

Then the second week came. I started getting used to the routine, taking the Kanji test everyday and spending 4~5 hours in Fusokan everyday. But there was so much vocabulary and grammar I needed to learn. Everyday I would have to tread through piles of new grammatical structures, essay prompts, and sophisticated vocabulary. In class, I had to talk in Japanese using what I had learned the day before.

I definitely struggled. Because I have very little exposure to formal Japanese learning, I don't know the rules, I don't know what's wrong with my grammar, and I'm feeling increasingly frustrated about it. In class, my teacher says "use this in 'dictionary' form". But I've never heard of dictionary form...all I could think was "what the heck is that?"

When we learn a language, we usually struggle because we don't know enough vocabulary, or because we didn't learn the grammatical structure. But I feel like I steamrolled over any kind of learning curriculum and as a result, there are big gaps between what I know and what I should know. These days, I'm told I suck at Japanese because I look Japanese, talk with a Kansai accent, yet I talk so weirdly. And it's depressing, because I have a hard time pinpointing my weaknesses or where to start improving. But I know I'll find what I need sometime in the next few weeks...